I recently wrote a post “Not Knowing is the Path” and then came upon a paradox of sorts. As a coach, we believe all the answers are inside of us, a coach merely helps uncover these truths. So how can “not knowing” be the path when we are suppose to already have the answers inside us?
Inner knowing, whether you want to call it instincts, intuition or gut feeling, is about our inner wisdom. Inner knowing is our North Star, our guidance system, not knowing is our map.
Clear as mud, right?
I spent a good portion of my life believing I had to know it all first and then I could act. As a result, I suffered mega imposter syndrome and given my acting skills are horrendous, my discomfort and false bravado didn’t win me any friends. When I had my epiphany – not knowing is the path – I realized action precedes learning. It’s a path you go down, not a stationary place. I’m not suppose to know it all and it allowed me to relax and be genuine.
You have to do something, evaluate the outcome and reflect on it. Did you get the results you wanted? If not, try something different. It’s like the navigation system on a plane – you are constantly making course adjustments to get you to your final destination. We grow into our goals as we walk down this path. It’s a process and through this process we create our life.
But how do we know if we are on the right path? We need some sort of guidance system and that is where our inner knowing comes in. Our life is a series of choices – what to eat, what to wear, whether to exercise or not, who we associate with, what books to read, what to do in our free time, where to live, what to spend our money on, what career to pursue. How do we choose?
We choose based on our inner knowing. Our inner knowledge comes from action (things we’ve tried and liked or don’t like), our DNA (a preference towards introversion or extroversion for example), as well as on a deeper, spiritual level.
The takeaway is to be in tune with our inner knowing. Your body will always give you a sign if you are on the right track. The key is to listen. Sometimes it’s obvious – something resonates with you and you’re constantly drawn to it. Other times when you’re doing something that conflicts with your true self, it shows up in physical symptoms – lack of energy, stress or getting sick. Or you try to mask it with alcohol, binge eating, surfing the internet…you get the idea. No judgement, we’ve all been there.
Despite my insatiable desire to learn more about personal development, I didn’t trust my inner knowing. I was very aware of what made me tick yet I let myself be swayed by other people’s opinions. Probably because my opinion wasn’t really asked for so the message I got was it wasn’t important. Anyway, this can lead to chaos because everyone has an opinion. I was constantly chasing other people’s and as a result I was frustrated – a lot.
I’ve had to take a step back and slow down. I’m bombarded daily with offers about how I should live my life and run my business as I mentioned in the previous post. Only when I started following my inner knowledge, only when I make choices based on what I love, what really resonates with me, did things start to change. It gave me focus, it gave me direction. I feel assured that I am on the right path.